The “Sobremesa” Series
the intro
In Latin America, “Sobremesa” refers to the moment in time after a family or group of friends have finished a meal, sometimes including dessert & coffee, and somehow manage to stick to their seats, almost by magic for hours on end.
It’s effortless and inevitable. After the dishes are cleared, there’s no telling how long the Sobremesa will last. (I’ve seen some lasting well after midnight). You’ll almost never be able to spot the elusive moment that the meal has ended and the Sobremesa has officially begun.
People laugh loudly and uninhibitedly. Strangers across the table are now well engaged in conversation. Intimacy finds a fast track in a sneaky, silent way.
Everything that is consumed during the Sobremesa becomes completely unnecessary. It no longer has an objective function . Sobremesa is about decadence. About having that second or third piece of cake that you absolutely do not have space for, but you undoubtedly desire. It’s about cold, half - consumed cups of coffee, that were forgotten for non - stop talking.
When I was a kid I hated Sobremesa. It seemed like such a boring, never ending downward spiral that grown-ups would engage with one another and would be impossible to pull them out of.
After being away playing with the kids my age, I would approach the table running to ask my parents if it was time to leave. I could spot that the Sobremesa had begun even before I arrived. I could detect the smell of strong brewed coffee and assorted cakes and cookies, casually laid out for anyone to serve themselves . The table was also in a sort of calculated chaos. Cloths were now in a bit of disarray and usually had a couple of stains here and there. Empty and half filled bottles of wine were placed in the center of the table along with their respective scattered corks. Two or three ashtrays would also be found (it was the 90’s!) and everyone would be happily puffing away while absorbed in conversation.
I would approach my mom, asking if we could go home already. She would put down her cup of coffee or glass of wine, and with a cheeky You-Already-Know kind of smile would say, “Not yet, we need Sobremesa”. The only comfort that was usually offered was: “Did you taste the chocolate cake?!”
What this actually meant was, “find something to do, this is our time to play”.
As frustrating as this was for me as a kid, today in my 30’s, living away from home, I’ve had the chance to re-connect with the concept of Sobremesa, to get to know and truly connect with my loved ones. And while I do think that it is, in its essence, a universal concept, I was interested in asking myself what I could do to purposefully foster it in my own gatherings and share it with my latino and non-latino friends.
the series
That is exactly the purpose of all the posts that are to come from this series.
To reflect, experiment, share and enjoy everything that the Sobremesa has to offer.
And while I do believe that Sobremesa will happen inevitably and magically between people that love each other, no matter what’s served or offered on the table, I’m passionate to think of how, as a host, I can help it. Remove any road blockers that will get in the way, think of delicious treats that will bring smiles and dilate pupils, propose tips and tricks to serve coffee, cocktails or digestifs in a way that won’t be a total pain for you. Hell, I’ll even suggest music playlists for the Sobre Mesa to shine the way it was meant to.
It’s also an excuse for me to have more gatherings and share my experiments with my loved ones, so really everybody wins.
Some of the recipes will be baked, some won’t. The main purpose here is to keep things simple. To not introduce courses, desserts or anything that will bring a level of stress or anxiety.
This is for us to enjoy. It’s our turn as hosts to also sit down, relax and connect with our people.
Hope you stick around, and happy Sobremesa.
